I know that I am in the right path...

Living through that wonderful experience (of faith), I know that I am in the right path...

„ Human being. A notion as old as Earth, known to everyone of us. A notion which ´hides´ my destiny, your secrets, their personalities ….Humans, that's us … Yes, all of us…. None of us asked to come in this world, however we're already here. Everyone may ask himself: Why am I right now and right here in this place? Why I was born actually? What for? What is my mission? “

I was born on 27-th of February 1989 in a small village in central Slovakia, where everybody knows everybody and where being ´different´ is a problem… My Mom and Dad are Christians. In fact, what other choice could they have as their parents „dictated“ their choice upon them?! I was baptized too, and participated in the first birmation, like everybody who lives here.

In the first year of my primary school my parents registered me in the course of religious education. I knew very little about God then. I remember very well a meeting I had those days with an aunt of mine. She couldn't have children so she treated me like her own daughter. She spent a lot of her time with me. She took me to the church and to every Sunday sermon during the following five years. But I was just a kid so my ´priorities´ were focused just on playing games … As much as I loved her, tried to please her as much as I could. Time passed by and I started to prepare myself for birmation. I started to go more often to the church. I don't have fond memories regarding the ceremony itself because two days before I broke my arm. Maybe this was a sign… I don't know…Indeed I may never know…

Anyway, I took pleasure on the whole event. To tell the truth, I liked playing the role of princess..., wearing beautiful clothes and showing off ... not a nice thing in fact... I know. I don't have anything to remember that day. Pictures were lost I don't know where. I attended church services regularly till the seventh class of primary school. More or less because of the force of habit rather than as necessity. I did not like how after sermon, old women gossiped on everyone they could, boys smoked and hurried to pubs. There was nothing I could do. I just considered it as part of daily hypocrisy. As I grew up, I found new interests. I wanted to try forbidden fruits, too.

My relationship wit my father is far from ideal. It never was. In fact it will never be. We quarrel very often. It can't be otherwise, even if I try my best. I couldn't get used to it. Those days of desperate tears and moments of bitter disappointment left their mark on y personality. I wanted t take revenge. I gave him reasons to shout at me. At least I knew the reason; I knew he was finally right (shouting at me) ad this did not hurt any more.... I stayed late at night with people that may never find their perspective in life. Drugs, alcohol, cigarettes... Now this is all behind me, but those days I felt lost in the wire of vice, in the arms o evil.

My six years older sister tried to give me a helping hand. However she moved to the city of Bratislava, where she found a job and I was left alone. &of course, you might think that my Mom was still there for me, but as it happens often in here, Moms happens to take Daddy's side. So when the time came to choose the secondary school I was decided: I wanted to go to school with a dormitory, far from problems at home. Maybe a cowardly escape from problems, but those days I saw it as the only and correct solution. I didn't want to suffer any more for my relationship or un-relationship with my father.

And here, my new way starts...

The school was located in the city of Nitra. I was away from the people I know. I started from scratch, anew. I felt more quiet, satisfied, equilibrated. I was scared of week-ends, though... The idea that I had to spend two days at home, terrified me. I was looking forward and still look to the day when I will be ´adult´ and will leave all this...

One week-end in January 2005, I went to visit my sister in Bratislava. We went for dinner to a restaurant nearby where a friend of her – a Muslim – joined us. He earned my attention with his talk about Islam. He had an answer about every question I made. I couldn't sleep that night. I wanted to know more. A Muslim? What he believes in? Why is he different from me? Why it is so? Always when TV channels informed about „them“, I heard the remarks that my dad usually used to make in their address. I ignored those remarks as I want to have my own opinion on people based on my own experience with them. My father doesn’t know anybody so he can't understand. Or better to say he knows someone already but hasn't realized it… It's ironic. Even though I tried to narrow that huge gap between us I haven't been successful so far.

The other day I met again with my sister's friend and the topic of our conversation was clear! I learned new and interesting things. He borrowed me books that I read within a week in my dormitory. Deep inside I felt turmoil, I didn't know how to react, enjoying or crying. All I have believed in till then suddenly became inexplicable in my eyes. Different thoughts occupied my mind. Humans are curious and I couldn't have enough yet. I asked him for a Slovak translation of Holy Koran. I am thankful to him for his willingness and patience.

It was January 27, 2005, when I hold The Holy Koran for the first time. I opened it and focused my eyes on the sentence I will never forget:

“And leave Me (alone to deal with) those in possession of the good things of life, who (yet) deny the Truth; and bear with them for a little while.”
I was stunned.

I was scared more than any time before. I felt differently. I belonged to something. I regretted only the fact that I didn't have anybody to share my feelings with. I wanted to erase from my mind all I have believed in, before. It's not easy. Some are still there but I don't believe anymore. I know that this is not necessary anymore. What I believe in, now, is in my heart, not in my mind… I know that this is exactly the thing that I have been looking for, during all my life.

During this short period of my life I've done a lot of stupid things and couldn't resist the vices of this world. I've tried many evil things. But nobody is perfect and I am not an exception. What is most important is to know your mistakes, failures and correct them... I sincerely regret all my wrongdoings. I don't think about my past and hope for a better future. Deep in my heart, I have always believed that there is always something, more important. I found that important thing. I started to believe in One and Only God! Every evening I repeated the same sentence: „Ash-hadu allá illáha illa Alláh, wa ash-hqdu anna Mahammadan rasulu Alláh. “(I bear witness that there is only One God - Allah, and I bear witness that Muhamad is His Messenger)

It's nice to see the real colors of life.

I spent my summer holidays in Bratislava. I met a Muslim woman, who gave me a lot. We spent three days in Czech Republic in a Muslim summer conference. That was an unforgettable experience. An experience that influenced and changed me. For better … That lady was and still is my shining light. She was not the only one to stay by me at the most important moment of my life. Fully convinced about the correctness of my decision I accepted Islam as my religion. Finally!

After 8 months of an uphill way, I declared Shahada (the declaration of faith) full of joy, tranquility and understanding. That feeling of rebirth…startling…moving the wings of that wonderful and until now hesitating butterfly in my heart that got finally free. A chance to live a better and meaningful life!

I wish this to everybody. I feel the same whenever I pray, again and again when I ask God for mercy...

There are just a few people that know about my decision and that's better. My parents couldn't understand it. There were conflicts… They took The Koran from me, took away my books on Islam, my mobile... I felt empty. This way my faith only gets stronger and stronger...

My sister doesn't believe in God. Insha'Alláh (God willing) she will find the truth too, like I did. I pray for her, she deserves it.

I lived through that wonderful feeling and know that I am in the right path even though it is often tricky, full of barriers and misunderstood to many.

What is my mission than? I know the answer: to be a good man, friend, later a good wife... To be liked by God! This is the only thing that matters. I am happy and thankful. For everything.

“To Allah belong the East and the West: whithersoever ye turn, there is Allah's countenance. For Allah is All-Embracing, All-Knowing.”

Your sister Andy, Slovak Republic, 2006

www.islamweb.sk